What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

My marriage is fixed. My future husband repeatedly calls me to meet me in private and pressure me to have a relationship. What should I do?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

TEXT:

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Make Nazis afraid again!

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

How many women have accidentally pooped their pants and became turned on afterwards?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)